Insideout

The insecurity which Indira feels whenever she is about to fall in love or get attached to somebody emotionally is not the part of her core behavior. It is something she never wanted but is now within her. Indira has always been a sensitive child. She was the only child of Mr. and Mrs. Pandit. Her father was an accountant in one company and mother was a homemaker. Her grandparents used to stay with them too. It was a happy family but a strict one. Academic growth was always essential, and sports and cultural activities were considered as a mere waste of time. Mr. and Mrs. Pandit was not wealthy, but they had a stable income and own house, which was enough for them. Indira grew up in a small town, studied in vernacular medium, completed her graduation in the same town and left it for the nearest metro city when she decided to get a job. But it was never this smooth! It is never this smooth for anybody, be it Indira or you or me. Life is never this smooth, i...

Sitting in her office doing daily routine work, she was thinking about her life a few months ago! It has not been too long since she has stopped talking to her ex! Though their relationship has always been full of ups and downs, she knew they share something which is beyond their understand and control! Or at least she felt so! 'Ting" a mail popped up on her screen, and she came back to the present! "Even after 7 months, I am still so much into him", she thought and got back to work! Indira has always been a 'strange' girl for people around her! And she used to think the same about her too, but a few things happened, and she recognized what she is made of! Now, people's perspectives and labels do not bother her that much! Her tattooed body, pierced nose, and ears,  funky shorts, crop tops, not so attractive face but the slender body, all these characteristics have always been a topic of discussion wherever she has been! Earli...

Indira... This name has a different identity in India! But my Indira is not interested in politics or society too. She is in her own world, figuring out her own life and is trying to create something beautiful for herself. Since her childhood, she has been this strange girl who deep inside always felt disconnected to her surroundings. 'Identity' & 'Self' these words have troubled her than every other issue of her life. I mean, who does not have problems with life? We all do right? But not knowing what she exactly wants, used to make her feel lost and inferior, so that is precisely what she thought of herself throughout her puberty and even after that! By the way, why are we talking about her past? Part One: Here she is, sitting in a lavish garden near her rented house and going through the whole last week that she spent with a boy wondering why is she feeling something which she never thought she would ever feel, and that too so soon! ...

I belong to a town called Roha, situated on the bank of river Kundalika (This river is getting popular among adventure junkies nowadays). In my town, we had a tradition (still have) of going to nearby cities for further education, after passing HSC exam! continuing the tradition, I left Roha for my junior college (in Alibaug). That was the period when I got introduced to the concept of KATTAs /Cafes/ even gardens. I loved them immediately! (Though Alibaug has a sea and it was right behind our college, I was never that attracted towards it!) For me, Cafe is the place where I would find my solace! Since then cafes are like my second home. I remember leaving my house ( i used to stay with my uncle) every day, especially in mornings or evenings just to sit in a garden or have Wada Pav and cutting all by myself at my favourite joints! For me, these places were more like meditation rooms (of course with food)! Since then till now, whichever city...

The other day, I was having a coffee in Goodluck (as usual) and for a second I missed a heartbeat! In the next second, the clock stopped ticking, the third second made my ears go deaf and the next moment I heard my own silent laugh of astonishment! What caused such fast-paced changes in my reality was nothing but an illusion! Actually, while having a coffee I saw a girl in the cafe who was not at all similar to HER but still reminded me of HER! By the way, Today, I finished reading Eat, Pray & Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I wonder the transition any reader go through during and after reading the book! It hurts sometimes, reading the last page and closing the book! (of course, if the book is worth reading according to the reader's opinion) It is a whole journey in itself! The story holds our hand and we stroll with it throughout the book with such an engrossment that we forget the fact - Every story ends! Leaving its footprints and creating a spac...